the IT

it never fails to piss me off.
no matter how far
or how close i am to it.
it never rests
nor does it feel contented.
there is always something that is not enough.
and there is a strong urge to piss me off.
i know it's just me
and my irrelevant feelings.
but i am still human.
i still feel
and i have strong feelings for it.

the strong feeling of killing IT
the thing that bugs me.
rattles my feelings
shakes my confidence
and kills every bit of my soul
everyday.
or maybe, i should just kill the source
the source that gives way for it to leave me into pieces
the source that has issues
and problems.


maybe
...i should just kill me